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lilly olily ..or.. Winter Skin and Spring on its way...

Posted 03-27-2011 at 01:42 PM by lilly

Since life as we know it is supposed to end on May 21 of this year I really don't know why I am buying steeply discounted ,75% off, skin products or why I am walking or being more careful on what I eat, or even getting the occasional veggie meal rather than delicious beef off the hoof, or expensive Nantucket scallops.

Since I don't believe in the Rapture or Heaven or Hell, I wouldn't mind closing my eyes and not waking up. It is the fate of all things living eventually. Whatever lives must die sooner or later.

Entropy, ageing, unless you are cut short it will happen to us all.

So I splurged, Starbucks berry crumb cake, Yummy, Soup from Kings laced with artichoke hearts and grated cheese, then coffee from the French patisserie in town. Fitting that a standard black poodle named Olivia was walking by as I left. I thought it was Archibald, or Archy for short, though it was obviously female and not male. Nice dogs in town, you would think you were in France with the small cafe tables and chairs out of doors and all the pets who are walked past, all wanting to go into the patisserie.

Loads of people that I know having their lunches after church services. A steady stream of customers having a bowl of hearty soup, a bit of excellent if expensive sweets or savories and their mid day coffee..

Life goes on, and I don't think any one there is worried about May 21 and the end of life as we know it.

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someone walked up to me and told me out of the blue that I looked damned good. Naturally that makes me feel that my efforts at turning back the hands of time must be having some effect.

Well.

I told her about the 75% off cream I stocked up on this morning at CVS. I bought 4, and she can buy the other four.

LOL. She looked pretty damned good too.

Nothing like a compliment or two to give a person incentive to continue. May 21 and Rapture time or no.

Posted 03-27-2011 at 03:30 PM by lilly lilly is offline

LOL. All the lotions I recommended are gone.. Hope the women who bought them are as satisfied as I am by the results. Not as good as expensive fillers of course, but for the very low price remarkable at easing winter drying.

Today I stocked up on 2 light Aluminum framed half glasses readers. Threw out defective frames or donated those glasses that are too weak for me. And so it goes with ageing and trying to remedy its inevitable effects.

Now to work on creaking joints and trying out various exercise modalities.

At swim yesterday I got the usual run of blarney, and queries. When I mentioned I wasn't doing the exercises, but using swim gloves, and bycling back and forth in the water for my creaky back. the woman grasped me by the waist and told me to heal in the name of Jesus. I thanked the well intentioned woman, why say I didn't think Jesus was interested in my spine. I wish I was more inclined to think in terms of faith healing and miracles. I have had some strange improvements at times, though I credit optimism and herbs.

Who knows, faith does do wonders and while I was annoiting myself with capsasin cream after exercise sitting in a hot shower, plus drying out in hot sauna, it is excellent to have people wishing you well. A good person with the best of intentions. As are most of the people I seem to run into. Male and female.

I avoid anyone who isn't.

Posted 03-29-2011 at 11:03 AM by lilly lilly is offline

Well faith healing didn't do it for me.

So I will keep on in my puny attempts to strengthen my spine.

Man was giving me a bit of a hard time about parking. He decided or thought or was told I was someone else. I went out into the lot, and evidently he was parked on the opposite side, and I was parked perfectly in my own spot on the opposite side, having nothing to do with him. I said nothing, and had immediatly stood and left what I was doing to check it out.

Like all of us, I don't like being scolded, even nicely, much less for something that has nothing at all to do with me. It is a bit like being a powerless small toddler . But it is a good reminder to always check my lights, my ignition and how I am parked. Years ago I made sure to keep where I parked in a large lot in mind, otherwise you can wander around looking, now where did I park.. I noticed too that when pre-occupied I left my keys in the ignition. Keeping on your toes and paying attention to small details, not allowing distractions or others to get on your nerves.

LOL. I still lose my sunglasses, gloves and umbrellas, but I always have, and I guess I always will.

Posted 03-30-2011 at 11:03 AM by lilly lilly is offline

Shock. Couldn't get through on the phone, so stopped by his office, my internist is moving. Will have to check my mail to see if there is a notice. Was going to make an appointment to check out my back. Nothing serious. But it was a bit of a shock.

Movers mentioned he was transfering to somewhere in the town.

Will have to call on the phone again. Good guy, good doctor.

I like my professional team as they are, don't want to have to find new good doctors.

My dentist died, but his son is fine in my book.

Life changes. God knows I am changing as I type.

Posted 03-31-2011 at 10:56 AM by lilly lilly is offline

The star magnolias are in bloom, ready to be blasted by tonites snow. The spring plants look pretty sad out in front of the supermarkets, though I was tempted by some gorgeous purple annuals inside. Too expensive, so I resisted.

With inflation looming I filled up a two dollar bag in the thrift shop.

A cuddly terry cloth robe for the swimming pool, its mightly drafty and chilly in the corridors to the dressing room. Plus a few pairs of slacks and jeans. While it isn't my cup of tea, I did get a japanese robe with cherry blossoms. If spring isn't coming yet, I might as well wear something spring- like indoors. At a quarter or so an item, it is a nice pick me up.

People were filling bag after bag after bag. I might go tomorrow and take another look, it was too much of a feeding frenzy today to linger.

Gas is going up, everything is.

Did get some free books on Aging, including the Suzanne Summers thing. Personally I think her latest picture that I saw of the lady is a bit grotesque though the shot on the book is flattering. She is resisting age, not embraceing it.

Aging isn't what it once was, people aren't content to let nature take its course. They seem to be resisting tooth and claw. I take two approaches. Find out what I can, and do what seems reasonable and doesn't cost a fortune, and mainly allowing nature to take its usual toll.

Posted 03-31-2011 at 04:01 PM by lilly lilly is offline

Nature is playing a bit rough here in the North East. We had snow showers, but nothing like the foot or so predicted for New England. Looks likes a miserable Aprils fool joke on Natures part.

I wonder why Starbucks charges so much for its coffee. Frankly I won't pay it, though I will get some other of their baked items on Sundays. My local patisserie coffee is as good at 1.40, and there are free refills. But, that might change as everything else seems to be going out of range price wise. Yet conserving isn't impossible, while still enjoying luxury in the food aisles. A challenge.

Will be eating lunch at the senior center in an economy move, and doing any reasonable exercising most days as long as there is no charge, otherwise I would switch to walking in the local beauty spots if Spring ever arrives.

It seems this year will be a year of change for many. Did get my internists note of change of address to a town closer to me. Good man, good advice, and I can use every bit of support available as friends die and vanish one after another.

Chatted with a few of the ladies at the center, and they are disappointed that I don't care for bridge. Good for the memory, but I was never into card games or cross word puzzles, another good mental exercise. But why do anything you don't really enjoy thoroughly.

Physical exercise might be tedious at first, but you do get rewards. The endorphan rush, and flexibility and endurance of a limited sort.

Posted 04-01-2011 at 03:41 PM by lilly lilly is offline

i"ve decided to will spring into coming. Namely I'm going to fill up my window boxes with Johnny Jump ups and other spring beauties.

Today the local farm gives out scoops of their home made many flavored ice creams. So naturally I will spend some of my money there moseying around their spring annual selections, and picking out some spring flowers for my window boxes. Plus feeding their white goats, donkeys and all the other petting zoo creatures some limp carrots and ageing apples. Get something, give something back.

Wearing my new black 25 cent Easy Spirit sandals with my 25 cent black slacks, and my black Messenger bag... frugality and splurge. It has to be mightly tempting for me to pay the full price on anything except food and gas. A life of treasure hunting, which is a form of retail therapy most women enjoy.

Continue playing the $5 off game at CVS. One last purchase at a reduced to $10 with a $5 off coupon, and receiving another $5 dollar off coupon means, I'm paying the state tax, and nothing else. Of course got Arizona green tea for my meditation and dog watching, evening picnics at the local park, also discounted. What I have to do more is to discard when I buy anything. Send it on its way to a new home where it will be appreciated as a thrift store treasure.

Everything is overpriced, so that it is a necessity for people like myself on limited incomes. There are a load of people who are used to luxury, lost their jobs and now have to cut back It has always been a game for me to be thrifty on one hand and splurge on the other.. because accumulating money, which always depreciates was never in our family thrifty Yankee style of living well on little..

Playing a game in conservation always was..

And grocery shopping is a sport of sorts. I see the cheap and excellent Bartlet pears are imports from Argentina. Must be the cold in Mexico.. Though fruit did come from Chile. Like a lot of people I shop around the perimeter and buy the loss leaders.

Any store has competition and has to get you into the store. Since I go to check my blood pressure every day, a drug store gets me in there anyway, but I try to put on blinders and only look at what I really want or need, though I impulse buy if it is reduced enough.. Ditto at the supermarkets and large retailers.

I think this is true of many who have to face the reality of very little money in a materialistic culture that has sprung up in the U.S. in the past decades.

There are more and more empty spaces at the malls, and more and more for rent signs out.

I don't remember feeling poor ever, though I never had much money. Certainly no where near what the people around me had, but it never bothered me. It is a challenge, and I never kept up with the Joneses.

Posted 04-02-2011 at 10:47 AM by lilly lilly is offline

Updated 04-03-2011 at 01:27 PM by lilly

No Johnny jump ups. Only pansies and some yellow violas. I Always get johnny jump ups, my easter tradition. Do have a wreath on the door of blue corn flowers, some yellow flowers and white, plus a touch of pink. Looked odd with the porch covered in snow, but.... The evergreen wreath still looked fine, but the odor of pines had vanished when I opened the door.

Talk about wonderful smells. Ripening pears in the bedroom. One is finally ripened enough to enjoy. Green they are tastless, but ripened even off the tree they are something with a lucious scent and taste. Good with my breakfast sausage and biscuit, or with a ripe brie and ice wine.

Went to the church sale and stocked up on another 3 pairs of slacks, and some fabrics for a quilt of blue triangles. The first I will attempt as being simple enough for a beginner.

Also handbags and picture frames. I never get enough picture frames. While I buy original art, like anything else, its either luxury or simply something I like taken from a magazine illustratioin. I like to rotate pictures by the season.

The Japanese do that. Cherry or plum blossoms screens in the Spring, Crysanthymums in the autum, and other motifs year round. While I am not a Martha Stewart, I can see her obsessions which go to the nth degree, are mine in a minimalist fashion. My colored eggs are freely given gifts from a exercise class chicken afficiado, green, blue and beige, my plants are a hodge podge of buying whims, my christmas decorations also serendipity, what turns up from fallen winter storms or bits and peices that seem miraculously appear out of no where at my feet.

I even dresss that way each day out of the mess of my scattered belongings. No organization for me, it is chance. a scarf or accessory from a thrift shop, a flower from the garden to smell in the car. We are all artists.. I must have been a bower bird in my last existance. It keeps a smile on my face all day.

Unlike someone successful as Martha, my life is not planned for profit or teaching, it is all serendipity and the pure pleasures of each moment.

Posted 04-02-2011 at 12:36 PM by lilly lilly is offline

The saying is. "Keep your words short and sweet in case you have to eat them."

Today I'm changing in this one aspect. Mindful eating.

Focus on the experience, the sight, flavor, texture and aroma.

Have been mulling over what I will take for my picnicing this cool but sunny afternoon.. I am salivating ....

Thai, chinese or??? Such major decisions. Had the black raspberry icecream for lunch, and aripe and scented pear and spicy sausage patty for breakfast.. So now it is off to the A&P to see what fruit or berries they have on special. Looking at the acreage devoted to peach trees, and at the pruned fruit (peach?) trees made me yearn for spring, and its blossoms and later for ripe peaches. I think I'll buy bottled ripe peaches for dinner. They lopped out the centers and kept the stronger outer limbs, looks like a Van Gogh painting.

Have been researching Sketchers for wallking. Will look into the Kohls ads as they seem to be discounted there. Forget the big malls, I'll pop over to the smaller outlets.

Posted 04-02-2011 at 03:17 PM by lilly lilly is offline

One last splurge using up my T.J. Maxx rebates and the last CVS coupon, and then that is it for material items.

The garden is next. Pruning back the dead and frost killed rhodies, and Whatever didn't make it through this brutal winter.

Then major black plastic discard for the Big Rummage. Time to get rid of things, and spring clean up.

If I don't see what I don't need I won't be tempted to accumulate.

Time to ignore the materialistic and hook into nature and its great time of beauty. Spring seems to be on its way. Wore two layers and I'm not cool, in fact time to discard outwear just like I intend to discard self regard and concentrate on the world outside my own little concerns.

Posted 04-03-2011 at 12:44 PM by lilly lilly is offline

Still waiting for johnny jump ups. Flowers are going up in price just as everything else. Even Burger Kings $1 menu is no longer a dollar, seems to have jumped up 19% or more on items. Time for an adjustment in my buying habits, because my income isn't going up anytime soon.

Life is changing. More and more for Rent signs up on the local main street on the next town. People must be leaving N.J. for states that are cheaper to live in. The recession with an inflation is moving along, and it isn't creaping along its moving faster downward.

People will be looking at the Clinton years as the last good times. Then along came a few wars. Nothing like a war to benefit the few and destroy more.. The money flows into the military industrial complex, and a few pockets like Haliburten.

Reading a book about the War of The Roses in England. The struggle for kingship between cousins and brothers. One Henry was a very weak king who was mentally ill so his French wife brought in French and Scots who she allowed to pillage and rape, mercenaries who were brutal to the populace, and the power struggle errupted between the descendents of two brothers. John of Gaunt and his younger brother.

I first read a book about Kathryn Swynford, John of Gaunts mistress, and then wife from whom the Tudors descended when I was in my teens, and while the War of the Roses didn't interest me, (I skipped to King Henry the Vlll) it does now because we are in a period of flux and changes due to Wars.. It was such a complex war, with people switching sides, back and forth, many betrayals and reasons for the betrayals for self interest.

There were the Kings and aristocrats who were related or beholden to whoever was King who dragged in their tenants and workers as soldiers, and the men had little choice in the matter of who to fight for.

We don't have Kings, but we do have rulers, like them or not. And a few who I would rather had never been POTUS who dragged us into quarrels of their own choice.

Read about the death blows on dozens of unearthed skeletons in a town called Towton? a few weeks ago, about a bitterly faught battle there. The worst casualties ever. Tens of thousands killed, maimed and ruined.

Last nite read a novel about Elizabeth Woodville, a great beauty of the time, who married King Edward the lV, (she wouldn't allow him to seduce her as he had countless others as he was a notorious lecher who couldn't be trusted). Her first husband was Sir Grey, who was killed at St. Albans fighting her future husband, and on the losing side in the battle. As a result Elizabeth Woodville lost her dower and she petitioned the new king for their return.

Later she was accused of practicing enchantment or witchcraft to seduce him into marriage, and her marriage was annulled. Her son in law restored her status and legitamacy of her children, but put her in a nunnery at the end of her days. A good son in law.LOL.

When the king saw her, and she was a great beauty, he ended up arranging a secret marriage to her since she was resistant with good reason. He was a known seducer and took what he wanted easily and remained pretty much a seducer of other mens wives throughout their marriage, though there was no question that the two did have a sensual bond till his death. She was a first in English royalty. A commoner who married the King, which set a precedent for Anne Boleyn later, when her Grandson Henry the Vlll decided he wanted Anne, and she also would not give him what he wanted without marriage.

Jane Shore seems to have been one mistress that did cause friction. (Elizabeth turned a blind eye to his habitual adultery pretty much as wives did then). Jane Shore was another great beauty of her time, and the mistress of many important men, even the mistress of Elizabeth Woodvilles son by her first marriage. She did marry wealthy men twice and lived to be 82.

The past always is interesting, and as it doesn't impinge on my current life and times it isn't distressing.

Elizabeths mother was married to the Duke of Bedford, when he died she married his squire immediatly. All of these people were handsome. Tall, good looking, and pretty ruthless. Jaquetta, and her husbands squire were a definate love match.

Looked at Elizabeths portrait, and outside of the fashionable bare high forehead (They removed the first couple of inches of hair in front on a lady) she would pass as a beauty today. Her husband, not so much, more a Donald Trump type, smallish mouth and a spoiled brat look, at 6'4' imposing and fit, plus an effective and lucky warrior. It sounds as if he ruled well for the time, though he let Richard his younger brother do a lot of the management, while he whored around and allowed his wifes relations to run rampant. though some of it was propaganda by Warwick and King Richard. Who knows. Conflicting theories. The loser always gets slammed.

But that is how it always is. Patronage to the relations of the ruler, and disgrace and loss of property to the losers. though one match she made for one of her brothers at 20, with a rich widow of 60 was frowned on at the time. An obvious match for great riches. the relatives were probably furious. The Rivers and Woodvilles had many enemies, and were deeply resented by others who were as much on the make as the others who were regarded as upstarts.

Posted 04-05-2011 at 11:17 AM by lilly lilly is offline

Updated 04-09-2011 at 03:04 PM by lilly

Remarkable. She had about 14 children, 2 by her first husband and the rest, yearly by her Husband, the King.

Her own mother adored her second husband and had about 16 children. So these two were fortunate.

Good health in a dangerous age, and surviving childbirth without anesthesia etc.

Also the ups and downs in a dangerous political climate with the continued War and shifting of alliances was stressful. And you had to have a great immune system to survive at all.

Woman had few rights, and Elizabeth was accused as a witch ( the attraction of her beauty was not counted as enough for her husbands infatuation with her )along with her Mother Jaquetta, that the survived being killed as witches is astonishing. Her mother was tried as a witch, but released. Elizabeths marriage to his brother was declared invalid by King Richard the lll and her children deemed illegitimate, because Edward married her and didn't marry the relation of the French king which had been worked on by the Duke of Warwick.

Three of her sons, one by her first husband, and the two heirs to the throne were possibly killed by Richard lll. Her brother Antony Woodville, Lord Rivers, was beheaded by Richard lll. The mystery of the Princes in the Tower of London has never been completly resolved. Supposedly they were smothered in their sleep and buried somewhere under the stairs in the White Tower. (boys skeletons were found.)

Women were regarded as expendable because they died so early in childbirth. No birth control. Rarely having access to money or having power except through their husbands or fathers. And everything could be taken away at the whim of whoever controlled them, father, brother or husband.. The laws didn't favor women, and they didn't have opportunities to work as a general rule. Of course if you were attractive you could be some mans mistress or a whore. Big choice.

Elizabeth and her mother had the advantages of beauty, and marrying men they cared for, though Edward lV was a notorious philanderer. Still he did love his wife, and she was indulged.

Jane Shore the Kings mistress who he shared with The Duke of Hastings quite amiably was another interesting female, and survived till she was 82.

Posted 04-09-2011 at 11:48 AM by lilly lilly is offline

Had a tooth pulled, and a surgeon who was introduced to me 20 years ago and shook my hand because the surgeon who shared his office was retiring, said he remembered me. Seemed surprised that he recognised me after that few seconds meeting 20 years ago.

Frankly, though I didn't recognise him I was not surprised at his surprise. People always tell me that I don't age or change. Of course I do, I look in the mirror in the morning and know I have.

The odd thing, I rarely recognise the people who say this. Sometimes I rack my brain trying to recall who they are. Sometimes they do look something like they did years ago.

Time really changes us. Every time this happens it sets me to thinking.

Our faces do change. They say the nose doesn't stop growing longer even after death. Certainly my ears are bigger than they were years ago. I notice all the changes, and think, "Why didn't I appreciate what I had." I think the current emphasis on looks and all the surgery that is now available makes everyone too self critical even when we have the advantages of youth.

Of course when I was young I was comparing myself to icons like Ava Gardner and Hedy Lamar and Elizabeth Taylor and I fell far short of such great beauties, yet even Elizabeth Taylor once said she would have prefered to have Red Hair? Ava and Hedy didn't seem to want to be any different than they were. Certainly they were a pleasure to look at.

I don't see that the current crop of girls stack up to those high standards.A lot of them seem to look alike.

Kate Middleton is quite beautiful for a British royal, but she doesn't stand out as a great beauty. Very good looking, and a great and charming smile.

Yet they are comparing her to Andrews two girls, as Cinderella and the two sisters.

I think that is a bit cruel.

Being on display must be so disheartening if you are not all that photogenic.

Posted 05-03-2011 at 05:38 PM by lilly lilly is offline

Was following a saga by a born victim. A sad day to day history to read. Her saga has ended with the scorpion throwing out the frog.

Her luckiest day though she doesn't realize it is.

Maybe next guy will be someone who treats her decently.

Unfortunatly she has a taste for trouble. Perhaps has developed into a full blown masochist who likes the excitement of trouble. It is an addiction like many other addictions.
Pure idiocy,absolute.

After all, WHY othewise cater to complete sociopathic bastards? Especially when they can destroy and ruin a persons life and her own family. It has become apparent it is this ladies issues that drive the bus, not the man who is exploiting her. After all she is volunteering to wreck her own life and her children's

This isn't a novel, this is a real life. Unless she is exagerrating, and I don't think she is.

As the king of Siam said. "It is a puzzlement."

If he wasn't such a rotten individual, if he didn't treat her with so much contempt I doubt anyone would tell her she was a fool. If he was decent to her it would be different. A former criminal and convict who still is playing with fire, even while going through cancer treatment.

Basically a fine woman. A worthwhile person, yet always managing to get the short end of the stick. Now I see why.

Fortunatly for her that country has an excellent medical service. She doesn't need to tolerate the abuse is what she is doing day in and day out, month after month. He will be taken care of without any sacrifices from her or by extention by her children. But sacrifice and toil she does for his comfort. While he doesn't give a damn about hers. He has finally kicked her out, and will use the nurses available for that. Then whine that she isn't there at his beck and call and for his rages.

Her country has a system, once you are on the chemo road, you stay on it. Their system is comprehensive. Everything is paid for, so that stress is eliminated, but... wouldn't you prefer to choose whether you live or die in your own way. We all should die in our own way.

Drama, excitement? Masochism? I can get that from movies, from books, I certainly wouldn't want hell on earth in my own daily life.

We choose our own calvary.

We choose the road we travel to the end of life.

Judge not, lest you be judged.

I do stupid things. We all do.

God knows we make bad choices, but not over, and over, and over and over endlessly.

Mother Teresa set limits.

Anyone who has been in medicine knows that nasty individuals do not become saints in extreme situations. A human scorpion remains a scorpion even after the frog helps him across a river.

This very kind, but misguided woman deserves better.

Her priorities were skewed. Her own well being as well as her adolescent childrens well being and psychological health should be her main priority.

A con man, a liar and a cheat to the very last moment, she seems to nothing to him but a conveniant gofer to be shoved out of the door as he has been doing all along. Whatever she does, that is yesterday, what have you done for me today?

I continue to wish her well, and hope she wakes up before things go into the criminal mode. Because that is his, and his friends mentality.

Her daughter is the only adult in the room, and the mans daughter is an extention of him.

A thought. Perhaps she deserved whatever he dished out? She writes about every incident and he doesn't know he is the subject of intense scrutiny.

I have talked with many cancer patients. Lately it seems many breast cancer survivors feel that the One thing many of the women have is that great stress brought on their own cancers. Of course combined with many other precipitating factors. But continual stress is very possibly contributory. We can only take so much abuse.

She has entrenched herself in this so deeply. I hope she can break free without losing a load of cash. The frog and the scorpian. And it will change her for the worse by coping with the S and M aspect of the relationship. Though he has broken the thread, everything is on his terms.

He does deserve to live his own life, eat what he chooses, sleep with his choice of partners, and die in his own manner, not hers. She didn't see she was also domineering as well as being exploited and used for his needs. He got tired and tossed her out, she didn't choose that. He wants a endlessly sacrifycing mother.

None of this drama was necessary. NONE.

She will wake up eventually, just taking an awfully long time to do. Or perhaps the novel hasn't reached its last chapter. It ends when he d

Well, I guess it is living on the edge. Some people enjoy trouble. And lots of it.

And love, if it is love, love makes idiots of everyone.

And it appears that the SOB is trying to scam her to the last minute, just as he had been doing all along.

His inability to behave like a decent man is catching up, but she has truly trapped herself and is stuck in her deteriorating situation, which his death will free her from eventually or will it go on and on and on.

This man has been nothing but a liar, cheat and manipulater, and she couldn't call it quits till she was tossed away.

She is so far over her head with this ex-con. She is like the monkey with its fist wrapped around something in a jar, who won't let go.

He is slowly dying, and pulling away from her help, which is to the good. He is dying in a ugly manner, but that is the essential man. She thinks him a narcissist, but he is more likely a psychopath, now they call them sociopaths. the quicker he dies the better for everyone involved.

No one will miss him but his cats and this woman.

There is a lot of illegality, revenge havoc, criminal activity, and this woman still might go back?

That is her own choice and doing. Her choice, her life.

Meanwhile decent guys are out there for anyone who wants them.

Except this lady is glued tight to the drama. some women love the drama, they excuse drama and call it empathy when they get sucked into hellish situations.

Maybe it is more the spider sucking the life out of the gullible fly, and not the scorpion stinging the frog to death once the frog carries the scorpion to the other side.

The drama never ends, so no empathy left for either of these two, spider or fly, scorpion or frog. He talks his way out of very impasse with her. Her ego allows him to do so.

None of it is necessary. Lots of drama and delusions, which is exhausting.

Let us hope she has woken up..is on to the manipulations and walks away from it all to have a more normal existance with a less f*cked up mate.

Always hitch up with someone who has less problems than you do, not more.

It is a toddler sitting on a poo pot, his business, and it is his poo pot, and his poo not hers.

Walk away and put him on ignore.

Except he has used her child for criminal uses, and if she couldn't see what this man was doing, she is even more of an idiot than I thought she was.

What a mess and it gets worse and worse.

All for a bit of attention from a man who doesn't give a plugged nickle for her, a man who is incapable of remorse or love. She was warned, but la, la, la, la.

That she turned herself into his willing slave is one thing, as it is her right to be as foolish as she chooses. That he has influence on her child, and has used it for criminal purposes should be the last straw to any mother in her right mind. It chills the blood.

His evil influence could linger for years.

The man is out and out evil. And she was a willing victim. She screwed herself. Lets hope the child hasn't been totally sucked in by this mans evil nature.

She can only handle this mess as best she can. The die is cast, the river crossed and the frog and her spawn is at the mercy of the scorpion who has no mercy.

Fortunatly she does have some moral support in a situation with no moral guidelines, as she closed her eyes for the last year.

All anyone can do is wait and see what sort of lasting effect he and his cutthroat buddies will have on her son in his future life. He has to have had a much deeper tie to this man, than to his mother. One can hope for an earlier demise of the scorpion, but who knows that his connections haven't also found some uses for the adolescent.

She rejects the reasonable suggestions and alternatives, and persists on following a destructive spiral of behavior. Options are there, but she continues to be the monkey with her fist in the jar. Up down, yes no, push pull, back and forth she waivers. At this rate she will be ground down to a pulp, crushed under the boot of a psychopathic monster who will not turn a hair if she died, though she mourns his bad health.

. A mid life crisis and frankly she is earning her stripes as a masochistic victim.

Will she ever come to realize the utter contempt he has for her as his very willing victim?

Well over a year later she has finally come to her senses and is going to a safe location as far as she can get. When did it dawn on her that a murdering convict wouldn't kill her when it suited him?

He must have attempted something even SHE couldn't ignore.

It took one hell of a long time.

Cheers for her that she is still under his spell, but at least had the sense to vanish into thin air.

Or did she.

She kept the phone he gave her, and is still in communication with him. Plus feeling that abandoning him will lose her her gold stars in heaven.

Doesn't sound promising to me, as she rationalizes every single stupid thing she is doing. Like running away, but keeping in touch. What does that solve?

It should be...

A new life, another adventure.

And a heartfelt hope that the youngest wasn't harmed emotionally by his mentor, who is a career criminal.

Posted 06-22-2012 at 12:34 PM by lilly lilly is offline

Updated 12-18-2012 at 10:55 AM by lilly

Whatever I'm doing, and it really is off and on, hit and miss is working for skincare. I'm not capable of sustained interest in any health regimum, but... It is a shame I didn't start 30 years ago. Of course it depends on the light how I feel. Full sunlight and it is "OMG get out the cream." Shade, and "Gee that isn't at all bad." I wished my vanity had been there thirty years ago when I could have stopped time a bit better.

Bought more items at discount, never use the same product twice. Also bought something for those back of the hands age spots. I look freckled and envy the white smooth hands of the young. But I didn't take care of what I have way back when, sooooo...

Next lifetime.

I do know I regret ignoring my skin and body till now. Not that I'm doing all that much with very limited funds. Certainly nothing but discounted skin items and some walking for my blood pressure. The horse is out of the barn on skin and age. All that can be done is paying a bit of attention to remind myself to use a cream for a few minutes a day. I actually think it is changing. Too bad it took me so long to pay attention.

It is out the door in the morning once I comb my hair, which gets daily compliments. Hair says Thank you. Skin gets a bit of compliments. Skin says thank you.At least the men still turn and look.

Time to pay attention to little details. 10 to 15 minutes a day to pay attention isn't vanity. It is maintaining what remains.

Posted 06-23-2012 at 12:59 PM by lilly lilly is offline

Updated 08-06-2012 at 10:00 AM by lilly

It is heading for a tropical heatwave, and I have accumulated a series of free books for the coming weekend of sweat and discomfort. Will sit out of doors under my trees and read away. Books on volumetrics in eating and eating the best of the best to slim down, books on chanting for good results. Erica Jong on Henry Miller, and a few more for variety. Then I pass them on to others. One never knows what you can find on the library free cart.

Posted 06-28-2012 at 12:32 PM by lilly lilly is offline

	I see the real me in the mirror, and frankly would love to be able to afford a mini lunch hour face lift, botox or fillers. Since I can't afford any of that, the creams do work to a slight degree, and I do get a lot of blarney about my beautiful skin. I wish I thought so too. Did buy a few more deeply discounted products at Marshalls. Hope springs eternal.
	Posted 07-27-2012 at 10:57 AM by lilly

	Decided to become a classic vintage Ferrari instead of an older Ford while looking at a trophy second wife at least 30 to 35 years younger than her large pauched mate. Her diamonds were almost as big as his paunch which looked bigger than Octomom before she delivered. Bigger than Roger Ailes. See a lot of that out here. Nothing wrong with it.
	Posted 08-04-2012 at 11:39 AM by lilly

Yesterday realized life has changed radically, and not only for me. Costs are rising, at the bakery someone next to me paid $75 for her baked goods on Sunday. I paid $4 for my cold gazpachio soup which isn't a price rise. The tiny jam pots were 50 cents each, now 75 cents. In a few months it seems there has been a 30% increase in many items.

What was 4$ months ago is now $5.75... Someone at the farmers market asked $6 for a medium sized yellow-orange heirloom tomato. Not in my range. I almost burst out laughing. So I went and bought two much larger ones at $2 each at another stand.

Five thousand evaporated from my checking account as I paid for property taxes and house insurance, plus utitities. and a bit on credit cards.

Have to take stock of my needs and portion out carefully as the climate change makes food rise in price as well as everything else..

A service to drive others around cost $3 a mile, and $15 an hour if the driver waits. This would mean almost $100 for a ride to some of the places I go.. Everything here is far apart...So I'm hunkering down, my world gets smaller.

Actually I am shocked. Climate changes, morality changes, economics change.

So I take the train and walk which is healthy, though not in this heat and humidity.

Being forced into change is not a bad thing.

The drought is not the only thing that has affected my world.

Posted 08-06-2012 at 10:15 AM by lilly lilly is offline

LOL. Picked up some deeply discounted retinol for men. One of the items in the pack was missing, the eye cream. A girl on the jitney said, "But that is for men". I told her skin is skin, and men don't want to buy something labled for women, but it would be exactly the same as that marketed for women.

The price was right. Damned cheap. A good product. I love these discount stores. T.J. Maxx. Marshalls, HomeGoods.

Posted 08-10-2012 at 01:48 PM by lilly lilly is offline

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