Cops May Get Portable Drug Detectors Soon
So apparently law enforcement agencies
may have access to roadside drug
detectors soon, to determine if you've been been drugging
and driving EVEN IF YOU HID YOUR STASH
SOMEWHERE REALLY GOOD (read: not your butt, they always look there).
Spit into this little plastic test tube, and you're busted -- any cocaine, heroin, cannabis, amphetamines, and methamphetamine you might be partying with is no longer a secret.
Phillips, a company that makes TVs and all kinds of other techno-stuff, created this sophisticated dope-a-lysing device using nanotechnology, with a clever use of electromagnets and nanoparticles that can separate the sober from the impaired. After 90 seconds, the verdict shows up on a color-coded readout.
Damnit Phillips, you just made it a whole lot harder to talk my way out of a ticket. You know what i told the cop the last time I got pulled over? Me neither, I was high. ON YOUR NATURAL MUSK. Now get over here and let me whiff those pits.