Cook 20 LB Turkey in 20 Minutes

[andy]

I was going over old times on the "$ A Day Diet" thread when I knocked my beer over just kidding. I bought a bunch of turkeys for $0.19 a pound. I got cocky and decided to take my convection oven and make it into a "turbo-porche" oven on steroids.

My convection oven looks like a really big microwave oven. They cost a little over a hundred bucks on sale around Christmas in the nicer Mall stores.

Th convection oven cooks faster because it circulates the hot air. It also cooks with less energy and - for an oven - is cool.

The oven has 2 racks and a bottom pan.

So I took one of these turkeys and sliced it up into thighs, breasts, legs, wings, etc. I warmed up the oven (yea, right, 2 minutes!), brushed the parts with butter and threw them into the fire (I think 375). At 20 minutes, I took them out. THE TURKEY WAS COOKED! I let the peices rest while I made 1/2 platter of yellow rice and 1/2 platter of Stove Top (I like my Stove Top). Then I put the legs and wings around the platter with a thigh on one side and part of a breast on the other. I poured gravy around the whole thing.

Damn Fine!

[andy]

I used to work in a nice restaurant. It was called the Brown Derby. I had a problem cooking seafood. Actually, I had a lot of problems cooking seafood. But, specifically, I was told how many peices of shrimp.... and how many scallops, and fish, and oysters, and whatever.... go on each dish. I tried hard to get it right. I had maybe 15 seconds to count it all out each time an order came in. Working the lunch rush was kinda stressfull because everybody was seated at once.

Hell hath no fury like a waitress waiting on a late order! Football weekends were hell on Earth. Typically, there was a 5 hour waiting line for a table - go figure. I was having a nervouse breakdown everytime I came to work!

One day, I said F((&&ck it! As soon as I saw the rush start to ramp - were talking 20-30 seconds here - I went nuclear! I dropped the Mother load! THE FRYERS WERE MY BUDDY! I would drop a thousand dollars worth of seafood in 10 seconds....

BAM!

This was 1978, a thousand dollars was a lot of money.

It was like shooting a BFG!(Quake)

If it could be cooked - and there was an oriface to cook it in - in it went, BAM!

Fryers, steamers, broilers, I even used the heat lamps!

I was Hell-On-Wheels, Stephen King would have been proud!

No more stress. THAT WAS A LOT OF SEAFOOD!