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Old 01-28-2017, 10:44 PM   #1
Ross
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Default She said NO!



Quote:
I am a successful business professional in my mid-50s. I have put my children through college,
and they have no student loans. (My wife did not help with any of the college expenses. It was all on me.)

I am finally at a point in my life that I can pursue my passion of buying a sports car.
I have always been a car guy, and my wife knows it.

When I bring up the subject of purchasing the car of my dreams, which is not very expensive,
she tells me I will look like an idiot. In her next breath she says it’s OK if I buy a sports car if
it is the one she wants, and of course, the one she wants is very expensive.

No matter how I broach the subject, she does not “get” that it is not about her but about my
passion as a car guy. How do I get her to see my side?
Jesuz what can a chap do with a wife like that ! I mean reeeeeelly !

He is a ''car guy'' for christsake !

Do you know what that means woman . It means given a choice
between you and his new sports car ..........

Story sourced from here.
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Old 01-28-2017, 10:55 PM   #2
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Why can't she buy the car she prefers with her money, if she doesn't like his choice? While the source article doesn't state this, I'm left with the impression she earns money as well by the fact the writer says she didn't help with kids' college expenses.

If their joint finances are on track & he wants a car of HIS choice & it's not going to impact on family, couple spending... go for it.
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Old 01-28-2017, 11:00 PM   #3
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A BMW is always a mid-life crisis. The wife knows it
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Old 01-29-2017, 03:19 AM   #4
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Buy the friggin' car, you only live once.
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Old 01-31-2017, 11:39 AM   #5
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This 'sports car itch' isn't a male only thing. I also experienced this problem years ago. "But where will you put the groceries when you shop?", asked my shocked spouse and high school age kid.

In spite of them, I bought the car and have never been sorry. Indeed, we only live once. My memories of the MGB are golden and treasured.

Hope this guy does the same thing.
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Old 01-31-2017, 12:45 PM   #6
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If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy. It's the truth, and any man who's ever lived with a woman knows it. Being in the house with constant bitch 24/7 is friggin' horrible, and as tough as it sounds and may make you feel, "it's my money and I'll do what I want with it!" wilts damn fast in face of a day or two of cold shoulder, spiteful glances, and belittling commentary.

Which is what this guy is experiencing any time any action of his annoys his significant other.

Bite the bullet, buddy. You know what the answer is, and it has nothing to do with a car.
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Old 01-31-2017, 01:38 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharma View Post
If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy. It's the truth, and any man who's ever lived with a woman knows it. Being in the house with constant bitch 24/7 is friggin' horrible, and as tough as it sounds and may make you feel, "it's my money and I'll do what I want with it!" wilts damn fast in face of a day or two of cold shoulder, spiteful glances, and belittling commentary.

Which is what this guy is experiencing any time any action of his annoys his significant other.

Bite the bullet, buddy. You know what the answer is, and it has nothing to do with a car.
Alright, men! Who's gonna argue with him?
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Old 01-31-2017, 01:57 PM   #8
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Why don't you men marry a momma who wants to make daddy happy? Nooo... ya'll want them crazy biatches, don'tcha? Then you get all sulky when she bites you in the a$$.
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Old 01-31-2017, 05:11 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dharma View Post
If mama ain't happy, ain't no one happy. It's the truth, and any man who's ever lived with a woman knows it. Being in the house with constant bitch 24/7 is friggin' horrible, and as tough as it sounds and may make you feel, "it's my money and I'll do what I want with it!" wilts damn fast in face of a day or two of cold shoulder, spiteful glances, and belittling commentary.

Which is what this guy is experiencing any time any action of his annoys his significant other.

Bite the bullet, buddy. You know what the answer is, and it has nothing to do with a car.
Divorce? Cuz I know that would be MY freaking answer to living with someone like that!

Girlfriend needs to get smart. My DH wanted to golf St. Andrews Old Course. Expensive? You bet. My answer was to enjoy touring around St. Andrews and add in Edinburgh. Trip worked for both of us, and I wasn't resentful of the golfing expense.

Same will happen in November, if DH's company doesn't go TU. He wants to watch pro golf in person, I want to go back to Playacar. So we'll go to Playacar the week of the Mayakoba Classic, golf bus picks up across the street from the resort we stayed at last time. For $6.

Some people just like to make life difficult, instead of looking to the advantages.

Last edited by rb.; 01-31-2017 at 05:19 PM.
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Old 01-31-2017, 05:25 PM   #10
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There's always 2 sides to every story and we're only getting 1 of them. BUT, based on what the OP quoted, it sounds like they should have divorced some time ago.

If their relationship is as bad as it sounds, I don't understand why he's even seeking her approval or agreement or whatever you want to call it - unless there's some issue about getting a car loan. But if he really wants to buy the car, he should just man up and do it.

And someone needs to show him the writing on the wall...
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Old 01-31-2017, 06:13 PM   #11
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Yup - compromise is a hugely important component of marriage or any long term relationship & there are some times when it's more important than very important...LOL.

I think of it as "planting a seed of happy" that often results in a far more generous harvest back at you when you least expect it. Even if there's no bounty, (directly), for you... there's something really special about seeing a spousal unit with a big, happy grin that lasts.
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Old 01-31-2017, 06:37 PM   #12
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Bet you a hundred bucks the guy in the OP has tried a thousand times to "compromise" with his wife, tried to find the secret combination that would make her happy, told himself time and time again that he was just not trying
hard enough (yes, I am inferring a lot from a few sentences, but really . . .!).

Compromise requires two parties of good will. We have learned—or failed to—a zillion times what "compromise" means in the Mideast, for example. It brands you as weak, and you are taken advantage of, lied to, ultimately stabbed in the back.

In the constant war zone that exists in all too many marriages, compromise meets a similar fate. I don't know, and it doesn't matter, whether the wife is viciously unhappy, has a personality disorder, or is just an ordinary shrew. She needs to receive the drop card.

Why hasn't she? Answer that question and you save millions, male and female, from ugly fates.
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Old 01-31-2017, 08:08 PM   #13
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I should have been clear - SHE should compromise on this issue, especially if it will not impact FAMILY financial planning.

IF this is a manifestation of a mid life crisis... a car beats a girlfriend. And it's a stretch to call it any kind of crisis; it sounds as though he's wanted this car for quite some time.
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