Parents keep child's gender secret

[CanadaSue]

Parents of three. The first 2 are boys & they've chosen not to reveal the gender of their 3rd child hoping to bypass gender based limitations. The older 2 are free to experiement with different 'gender expectations'. I'm already seeing indications, in the article; that it's not as easy as all that:

http://www.parentcentral.ca/parent/b...-gender-secret

Really interesting read.

[Ross]

OMG! Is there anything more terrifying than morons
breeding like rabbits ?

[CanadaSue]

Not a whole lot.

Maybe I'm getting old & crotchety but the 'child centered' approach to education & self-rearing MAY work for some kids but those I've known raised this way, save for one, turned into rather repugnant adults. They somehow never learned that the rest of the world doesn't share their 'my interests first' POV. If they could get jobs, (hard because of a lack of 'boring' but basic educational basics), they couldn't hold them. The notion of showing up on time every day & not calling in absent on a whim escaped them.

And like it or not, gender IS one of the basic criteria we use to 'sort' the rest of humanity. Not all of us treat girls like delicate flowers or boys like filthy, rough & tumble heathens. Young poppets being raised today are quite aware that no matter what's between their legs, they CAN do more & freely than we old farts were limited to by assumed gender interests.

Forcing the issue in such an unatural manner isn't fair to any of the kids. And the idea of making a big drama of lack of gender, of making up a new pronoun is just too precious for my liking.

[LvDemWings]

Someone needs to educate these folks on the difference between gender and gender identification.

[flourbug]

heh.

They are confusing biology with sociology.

My mother was a Drill Sergeant in the US Army. My father was an artist. Mom was very very feminine, Dad was a big, strong manly man. They just did whatever the hell they wanted to do. I did too. Jason knew me online for several years, drove half way across the country to work with me, and when he met me face to face was shocked that I'm female. I didn't pretend to be male, I didn't hide being female, I just never mentioned it. (Kind of like Kassy, lol) Because of my work he, and most people who knew me online, simply assumed I was male.

My daughters did a lot of things usually thought of as male pursuits - they went camping and helped with construction projects and fixed cars. They weren't afraid to get dirty and they were certainly an aggressive bunch. Mike loved to wallow in silky and sheer material, he helped me with the laundry and actually enjoyed housework. It took years for him to stop running away screaming like a little girl when the bad guys chased him in video games. But like his sisters, once those hormones kicked in, no one could ever confuse their genders or sexual orientation. There's a BIG difference between boys and girls.

[LvDemWings]

The more I think about this the more it bothers me. Is forcing gender neutral any less psychologically damaging than forcing stereotypical gender norms?

[l'Incendiario]

Originally Posted by flourbug

heh.

They are confusing biology with sociology.

My mother was a Drill Sergeant in the US Army. My father was an artist. Mom was very very feminine, Dad was a big, strong manly man. They just did whatever the hell they wanted to do. I did too. Jason knew me online for several years, drove half way across the country to work with me, and when he met me face to face was shocked that I'm female. I didn't pretend to be male, I didn't hide being female, I just never mentioned it. (Kind of like Kassy, lol) Because of my work he, and most people who knew me online, simply assumed I was male.

My daughters did a lot of things usually thought of as male pursuits - they went camping and helped with construction projects and fixed cars. They weren't afraid to get dirty and they were certainly an aggressive bunch. Mike loved to wallow in silky and sheer material, he helped me with the laundry and actually enjoyed housework. It took years for him to stop running away screaming like a little girl when the bad guys chased him in video games. But like his sisters, once those hormones kicked in, no one could ever confuse their genders or sexual orientation. There's a BIG difference between boys and girls.

From my understanding (I have no children of my own) the development of children is directly correlated to their sex, with boys being quite behind girls at the same age for language (girls are also stronger until puberty), whereas as boys seem to pick up other skills first (hand-eye coordination for one). I've also (anecdotally) noticed that a lot of "girly" girls were tomboys growing up (but there probably isn't a correlation to that).

I have said for a long time (and it gets me into no end of trouble) that breeding should not be the default; people in an enlightened society should have to prove their ability and willingness to raise the next generation of people, rather than just not prevent a pregnancy and continue a cycle of abuse to yet more disenfranchized innocents.

*dons asbestos suit in anticipation of heated responses*

[Mama Alanna]

Although the article says not, I wonder if the baby is intersexed -- they CAN'T tell if it is a boy or girl. (Although DNA testing ought to tell you.)

And I'm with you in thinking that licensing parents might be a good thing, Incendi. Beginning with mandatory parenting classes in high school. And making it a real learning experience that they HAVE to pass, rather than an easy A or B.

[l'Incendiario]

Yeah, that's a good start, but I would have a reversible mandatory sterilization process at birth, too.

Neither money nor love are primary considerations, though of course they are important: people who use (their) offspring to further their own selves (and especially at the cost to those offspring) are the cause of so much abuse in this world ... stage parents acting out their failed aspirations, for example (Michael Jackson's parents).

[Susie]

As a parent of three boys and one girl, I can tell you that, without a doubt, there is a big difference between the sexes.