Being a Mom Isn't 'Toughest Job'

[Potemkin]

http://www.newser.com/story/144413/s...ghest-job.html

Stop the Charade: Being a Mom Isn't 'Toughest Job'
IT'S A PC THING TO SAY, BUT IT'S NOT TRUE, SAY TWO FEMALE COLUMNISTS

By John Johnson, *Newser Staff
Posted Apr 19, 2012 1:51 PM CDT | Updated Apr 22, 2012 11:37 AM CDT
STORY COMMENTS (77)


(NEWSER) – When Hilary Rosen dropped her never-worked-a-day bomb on Ann Romney, Democrats immediately sensed the political danger and backed away. President Obama himself weighed in: "There is no tougher job than being a mom," he declared. Oh, really? wonder Meghan Daum in the Los Angeles Times and Vivia Chen at the Careerist blog. Both take pains to acknowledge that parenting is, of course, difficult, but Obama's commonly spoken view strikes them as a little patronizing.

Chen: "Isn't being the leader of the free world just a tad tougher?" she asks. Rosen should have specified that Romney never held a paying job. "And therein lies the distinction that politically correct people (on the left and right) dodge when it comes to women's work: Working for a paycheck is different. And doing so while juggling home and work demands ... adds another layer of complexity to the equation." It's reasonable, then, to question whether Romney can relate. Full column.

Daum: "Might we possibly consider retiring that idea?" she asks, referring to Obama's comment. "Off the top of my head I can think of several other jobs that are tougher than being a mom. For instance, president of the United States. Or coal miner. Or teacher in an underfunded urban public school. Or Amish farmer." Click for the full column, whose larger point is about Americans' obsession with work.

More

http://www.newser.com/story/144413/s...ghest-job.html

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/...2902581.column

[flourbug]

"Off the top of my head I can think of several other jobs that are tougher than being a mom. For instance, president of the United States. Or coal miner. Or teacher in an underfunded urban public school. Or Amish farmer."

When any one of them has to grow their job inside their own body, spend a day or two in intense agony to deliver every project they work on, then work (often at breakneck speed) 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, for 18+ years, and be responsible for the health, wellbeing, education, and socialization of their product, as well as all housing, clothing, meal production, transportation, tutoring, sports and music coaching, etc including holding a part or full time job to bring in income to purchase all necessary capitol investments - all the while each project acts like its primary purpose is to self destruct and bring home every germ it meets to infect you with colds, flu, and exotic diseases - and that is if there aren't any complications such as Autism, diabetes, cerebral palsy, deafness, vision problems, etc.... and I am not even going to get into all the stuff that goes with kids that each has its own unique demands, like... father, friends, grandparents, pets... then they can gimme a call and we'll debate "toughest job".

I'll hand over my kids and take on any of those jobs, any day. Heck, I can do two at once - and thank you for the long overdue rest.

[veggiecanner]

If it isn't so tough why do we have all these drugs and procedures to prevent it.

[CanadaSue]

What makes it tough, as fb so eloquently described, is that you can't emotionally walk away from this job. I've done physically demanding, dirty & otherwise tough job. For the most part, 'the job stayed at work'. Parenthood is different. You're invested physically, emotionally & a big chunk of self esteem is involved as well. Even a HINT of criticism of our parenting style can really sting - far moe than with a paying job.

[dharma]

"Isn't being the leader of the free world just a tad tougher?"

Ass kisser. And the answer is, no, not if you don't take it seriously and try to do a decent job.

Rosen should have specified that Romney never held a paying job.

Because not being paid makes a job much easier, right?

Working for a paycheck is different.

Yeah, you get paid.

"Off the top of my head I can think of several other jobs that are tougher than being a mom."

Maybe for eight hours a day. Moms don't have eight hour work days.

Why don't we just go for the gold, specify that the toughest job there is is being an infantry soldier in combat, and use a great big "it depends" (on hours, commitment, intensity, stress, fatigue) for everything else? Then maybe we can cop to the fact that all these sneering women are just trying to make political hay and invite the bunch of them to stick to their own jobs and choices, and quit trying to cut anyone who chose differently?

[Coyote]

Being a mom isn't the 'Toughest Job' because it isn't a "job". Neither is being a wife, a husband, a son, a daughter, a grandma or grandpa, a friend or a neighbor, etc., etc.....

And yes, it is just a pc saying.

[CanadaSue]

Excellent point Coyote - it's a life role & responsability most of go through.

Something's been niggling at me about this article & it just struck me?

Why is it dads aren't considered to have an equally tough 'job' of parenthood? Long gone are the days of a distant or distant seeming father for most families. Dad is equally involved, sometimes he's a stay at home & there are certain stages of a child's life where he may be the 'better' parent for a time - better able to cope with those child's life stage issues.

My ex was superb with babies & I mean SUPERB. I found them cute but boring - he was the champion until they hit about two. Some dads deal far better with the teen years & some dads are the better parents overall.

Tired of seeing dads ignored in all this debate about how tough a job parenting may be.

[Coyote]

Why is it dads aren't considered to have an equally tough 'job' of parenthood?

That wouldn't be very pc now would it...

[lilly]

I never thought being a mother was a tough job. But I only had two boys, and they turned out great.

But I'm more hands off than most.

I was thinking about how different males are now watching some guy pushing his daughter in a stroller this morning. My husband wouldn't have dreamed of changing a diaper, or pushing a stroller, or anything remotely motherly, and he loved the boys.

I have a cool temperment, and he had a hot one, so it was up to me to defuse any problem with head butting, and men do butt heads with boy rebels. I think men are better with daughters, if a tad too protective, and women butt heads with their daughters more than with their sons.

[Ross]

Expect no sympathy , women will never understand the toughest
job spec involves being married to a woman because you have to
handle one more child than they do .


.

[flourbug]

That goes both ways, Ross.

[Lars]

Rosen claims to be a mom herself. Either she was not a very good one or else she had alot of help.

[flourbug]

Either she was not a very good one or else she had alot of help.

+1

Reminds me of former neighbors. The husband was heir to a manufacturing fortune, but he was not a trust fund baby - he was hands on and worked like a dog. He had a beautiful young wife, and they enjoyed the lifestyle only money could buy. Of course, they had a live in housekeeper (the Mrs. spent her days shopping and spa hopping) and when the baby was born, they added a live in nanny.

As soon as Mr. pulled out of the driveway at 6 am, Mrs. left the house in her Mercedes. Minutes before he came home, she pulled into the garage.

We went to a barbecue at their home, and in front of her husband she bragged about how EASY it was to be a new mom. She must be a NATURAL at it! She didn't see what all the fuss was about, or why OTHER women complained about not getting much done when they had children! Her house was clean, her child spotless and glowing with good health, and she looked like she stepped out of a photoshoot for the cover of Cosmo. Her clueless spouse was beaming with pride.

When he found out she spent all day, every day, out of the house (fed up nanny spilled the beans) he blew a gasket. He rang my doorbell - I guess since I ran a business and had three kids and no help he thought he would get sympathy (he was right) - and he ranted for an hour.

In the end, he just accepted that his wife was not mother material. It wasn't how HE was raised, but he adapted his expectations and dealt with the situation. They had two more children. Neither parent was around. He worked, she played, and they hired all the help they needed to keep that lifestyle. But the kids turned out okay. They did LOVE their children, and that came through.

I definitely know what type of mother would write an article like the OP - and I agree with you Lars. If you put your heart into being a mother, and do the job well, it is definitely one of the toughest jobs.

[Lars]

Originally Posted by flourbug

+1

Reminds me of former neighbors. The husband was heir to a manufacturing fortune, but he was not a trust fund baby - he was hands on and worked like a dog. He had a beautiful young wife, and they enjoyed the lifestyle only money could buy. Of course, they had a live in housekeeper (the Mrs. spent her days shopping and spa hopping) and when the baby was born, they added a live in nanny.

As soon as Mr. pulled out of the driveway at 6 am, Mrs. left the house in her Mercedes. Minutes before he came home, she pulled into the garage.

We went to a barbecue at their home, and in front of her husband she bragged about how EASY it was to be a new mom. She must be a NATURAL at it! She didn't see what all the fuss was about, or why OTHER women complained about not getting much done when they had children! Her house was clean, her child spotless and glowing with good health, and she looked like she stepped out of a photoshoot for the cover of Cosmo. Her clueless spouse was beaming with pride.

When he found out she spent all day, every day, out of the house (fed up nanny spilled the beans) he blew a gasket. He rang my doorbell - I guess since I ran a business and had three kids and no help he thought he would get sympathy (he was right) - and he ranted for an hour.

In the end, he just accepted that his wife was not mother material. It wasn't how HE was raised, but he adapted his expectations and dealt with the situation. They had two more children. Neither parent was around. He worked, she played, and they hired all the help they needed to keep that lifestyle. But the kids turned out okay. They did LOVE their children, and that came through.

I definitely know what type of mother would write an article like the OP - and I agree with you Lars. If you put your heart into being a mother, and do the job well, it is definitely one of the toughest jobs.

The way your anecdote started. I thought sure you were going to say that right after wifey left the house in her Mercedes, hubby came home and nailed the nanny. I'm glad the kids turned out ok but that would have been a happy ending too.

[flourbug]

LOL.... No nanny nailing. The wife was smart enough to hire Mrs Doubtfires.

[Coyote]

The "Toughest Job" is the one you get no satisfaction from and feel stuck in.

If you love what you're doing, even the hardest job ain't so tough.

[lilly]

There is no wrong or right way to be a mother.

There are a billion ways to raise children.

The best is with love and not smothering or neglet.