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Old 03-30-2017, 01:13 PM   #1
Potemkin
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Default A man in the women's restroom

Progressive/Liberal has a crisis of consciousness on the restroom issue.

http://www.thegetrealmom.com/blog/womensrestroom
A MAN IN THE WOMEN'S RESTROOM AT DISNEYLAND

Figured I'd start with an adorable photo of my son embarrassed to meet Mickey. Because OMG!








I didn't know if I was going to write this blog or not. A part of me was scared it'd be shared as some transgender hot piece about yet another homophobic mom lashing out at Disney and then I'd have to deal with the wrath of the internet telling me to kill myself. So let me be clear. This isn’t that story. This is a story about a biological man in the women’s restroom, but we need to discuss some gender issues.


I’ve lived in Los Angeles for over a decade and have seen my fair share of transgender/gender fluid people. They in no way offend me. I'd consider myself pretty progressive and tolerant of most things...except maybe people who identify as a person wearing socks with sandals. We all have our line in the sand and that's totally mine. But how transgender people feel, how they choose to dress or any surgeries they get, don't infringe on any parts of my life, so I support their decision to live as they see fit. I've also seen my fair share of transgender women in the women's restroom before. Not ALL the time. But over the past few years, I'd say 4-5 that I noticed. Men...who were in some stage of transition and making every attempt to be a woman from mascara to heels. Transgenders who certainly felt comfortable in the women's room and probably frightened to go into the men's. At these times, I smiled…I peed...and life went on. But 2 weeks ago something very different happened.



I was at Disneyland with my son, my friend and her son. We were over in California Adventure in the food court area. We’d just finished eating and decided to pee before we headed out to The Little Mermaid. I went to the bathroom while she watched our boys in their strollers, and then I did the same. (For anyone who’s tried to fit a stroller in a bathroom stall, you get it).



I was off to the side waiting with the two boys, when I noticed a man walk into the restroom. My first thought was “Oh shit, he’s walked in the wrong restroom by mistake. lol” He took a few more steps, at which point he would’ve definitely noticed all the women lined up and still kept walking. My next thought was, “Maybe he’s looking for his wife…or child and they’ve been in here a while.” But he didn’t call out any names or look around. He just stood off to the side and leaned up against the wall. At this point I’m like, “WTF? Ok there is definitely a very large, burly man in a Lakers jersey who just walked in here. Am I the only one seeing this?" I surveyed the room and saw roughly 12 women, children in tow, staring at him with the exact same look on their faces. Everyone was visibly uncomfortable. We were all trading looks and motioning our eyes over to him…like "What is he doing in here?” Yet every single one of us was silent. And this is the reason I wrote this blog.



If this had been 5 years ago, you bet your ass every woman in there would’ve been like, “Ummm what are you doing in here?”, but in 2017? The mood has shifted. We had been culturally bullied into silenced. Women were mid-changing their baby’s diapers on the changing tables and I could see them shifting to block his view. But they remained silent. I stayed silent. We all did. Every woman who exited a stall and immediately zeroed right in on him...said nothing. And why? B/c I and I’m sure all the others were scared of that “what if”. What if I say something and he says he "identifies as a woman" and then I come off as the intolerant asshole at the happiest place on earth? So we all stood there, shifting in our uncomfortableness…trading looks. I saw two women leave the line with their children. Still nothing was said. An older lady said to me out loud, “What is he doing in here?” I’m ashamed to admit I silently shrugged and mouthed, “I don’t know." She immediately walked out, from a bathroom she had every right to use without fear.

So there lingered this unspoken doubt everyone had….that .00001% chance this wasn’t a man. Let me be clear. This was totally a man. If this wasn’t a man, this was a woman who had fully transitioned via surgery and hormones into a man and had also gotten an Adam’s apple implant, chest hair and size 9-10 shoes ....and at that point, wtf are you doing in the women’s restroom? And let me be clear, my problem wasn’t JUST that there was a man in the restroom. Its that he wasn’t even peeing, washing his hands or doing anything else that you’d do in a restroom. He was just standing off to the side looking smug…untouchable... doing absolutely nothing. He had to have noticed that every woman in the long line was staring at him. He didn’t care. He then did a lap around the restroom walking by all the stalls. You know, the stalls that have 1 inch gaps by all the doors hinges so you can most definitely see everyone with their pants around their ankles and vagina clear as day.


And just as a side note….can we stop making bathroom doors with built in peep holes? I don’t particularly want to see people wiping their asses or changing tampons. Why is this even a thing?


So yes... there were women and small children using the restroom and this man was walking around knowing no one would say anything. So here I am…writing this blog, because honestly I need answers. We can’t leave this situation ambiguous any more. The gender debate needs to be addressed... and quickly. There have to be guidelines. It can’t just be a feeling. I’m sorry. I wish it could, but it can’t. I’m fine going by “if it looks like a duck, quacks like a duck…it’s a duck." Even if that means he/she put on a beak and glued feathers…I get it, you’re trying to be a duck so you’re cool. But this notion that we’re shamed into silence b/c we might offend someone, has gone too far. There was a man in the bathroom. Not transgender. There was a man who felt entitled to be in the woman restroom, because he knew no one would say anything. There were 20-25 people by the time I left, who were scared and uncomfortable by his ominous presence. And the only thing stopping us, was our fear of political correctness and that the media has told us we don’t know what gender is anymore. I never want to be in the position again. Im not asking for permission to tell transgender people to get out my bathroom. I need to know it’s ok to tell a man, who looks like a man, to get the f*&% out.



Gender just can't be a feeling. There has to be science to it. DNA, genitals, amount of Sephora make up on your face, pick your poison, but as a very progressive woman...I'm sorry it can't just be a feeling when theres but a mere suggestion of a door with a peep hole separating your eyes from my vagina or my children's genitals.
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Old 03-30-2017, 01:38 PM   #2
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We KNEW that this was coming, and will be repeated until something is done about it.

I have to say, though, that if a man in the ladies' room can see your vagina, lady, YOU are doing something completely inappropriate.

That said, I agree that restrooms need to be revamped so that they have real walls between stalls and doors that fit properly, without the huge gaps. You get a pervert claiming to be transgender in that kind of restroom and he won't see anything but women washing their hands.
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Old 03-30-2017, 02:20 PM   #3
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The "man in a women's restroom" issue is a problem that can be solved. The "afraid to speak up due to political correctness" issue is much worse, and won't be solved anytime soon. The PC movement, more than any other phenomenon, has had a chilling effect on discourse that will ultimately take this country down if we don't do something about it. You cannot solve problems if you cannot even talk about them without being branded a pariah or "triggering" someone.

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Originally Posted by Mama Alanna View Post
We KNEW that this was coming, and will be repeated until something is done about it.

I have to say, though, that if a man in the ladies' room can see your vagina, lady, YOU are doing something completely inappropriate.

That said, I agree that restrooms need to be revamped so that they have real walls between stalls and doors that fit properly, without the huge gaps. You get a pervert claiming to be transgender in that kind of restroom and he won't see anything but women washing their hands.
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Old 03-30-2017, 03:35 PM   #4
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And get rid of the huge gaps under the door, too. I was in a highway rest stop when I heard a shriek coming from my right, immediately followed by the face of a boy about 11 sticking under my door, grinning nastily. I hollered too, he withdrew, and then from my left I heard SMACK! and the kid started bawling. Someone quicker on the mark than I was (and maybe forewarned by the yelling) had slapped him, and slapped him hard. His mother started yelling, too. "He was just looking for me!" All three of us shouted "BULLSHIT, LADY! If he was looking for you, all he had to do was call out." And someone who might have been me added "If you don't teach your kid right from wrong, you've got no right to complain when someone else does."
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Old 03-30-2017, 05:15 PM   #5
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I probably would have said quite loudly "Oh, look. There's yet another pedophile masquerading as a transgender. If anyone sees that pervert looking at their child, we all need to start screaming that there's a pedophile in the room. OMG, did he just look at that child in the blue shorts? AUGHHHHHHHH! PERVERT!!!!"

This is why I'm not allowed out in public often. I've been known to embarrass my family by making politically incorrect remarks. My daughter won't go to the CVS with me any more. Just about every time I go I end up asking some college kid making a beer run when they are "expecting." CVS has these crazy "expectant mother" spots right in front of the store that are even closer than the handicapped parking. I thought they were a great idea until I noticed that not one expectant mother, other than college boys someday expecting a beer belly ever used the things.

Okay, the cranky curmudgeon is signing off.
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Old 03-30-2017, 08:01 PM   #6
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Proud to know you, Andrea!
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:23 PM   #7
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I second that, Spinner!!!

Like you, Andrea, I sometimes have force myself to 'curb my tongue' ..... But hubby on the other hand, a man who has always been quite and never catty, (That's *my* realm ) has been having 'filter issues'. Expected, part of the weird, wild, not-so-wonderful, world of cognitive issues.

Had to get a blood draw the other day and he remarked about how big / wide, the chair was. In a not 'indoor voice', he said; "How fat are the people you have here?"

My trying to distract / redirect did not work. As the person coming in to do his draw, was a larger woman.............. If I could have crawled under anything, I might have........ How could I explain to this person that my hubby has cognitive issues and sadly, he sometimes says things that he would never, ever have said, before ALZ decided to visit him?

Still, sometimes I just have to be a smartazz ..... When I see some young, fit, hyper muscle bound person getting out of their 'Vette, they just parked in a handicapped space ... I'll ask if they wonder what life is like if they *were* handicapped and that being a 'bull necked arsehole, is not an acceptable handicap.......

So Andrea, let you inner Tawanda, out, sometimes It's good for the soul and remember: (to parapharse Fried Green Tomatoes) 'Face it girls, you may be faster and younger, but I'm older and have decades of smartazz, on ya! '

Far as the man in the women's bathroom? Something that blatant and that 'in-your-face' would definitely have been sufficient for me to cast PC to the wind and ask him if he was a common, garden variety pervert / pedo-type or just a sick freak, too cheap to take his slime to a strip bar for his jollies?

In my case, I plead the absolute lack of hormones, chronic anxiety and self imposed chocolate withdrawal, for my less than gracious Southern Belle charm..........
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Old 03-30-2017, 10:42 PM   #8
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I remember when I worked at a major farm equipment's credit building, they had a lawyer in the legal department that wore women's clothes to work unless he had to go to court. The men didn't want him in the men's room in women's clothes and the women didn't want him in the ladies room. They had a special restroom in personal they put in for a disabled employee that he had to use.
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Old 03-31-2017, 08:26 AM   #9
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You ladies better calm down, or you'll be sent for re-education on proper attitudes around gender fluidity, and may have to join us troglodytes at something like the ‘Masculinity Confession Booth’

http://thisbluemarble.com/showpost.p...&postcount=110
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Old 03-31-2017, 12:50 PM   #10
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Ex, if a person in the restroom is minding their own business -- waiting for a stall, inhabiting a stall, washing hands after -- I'm not going to demand a panty check, even for people who look masculine. Nor would I complain about a man assisting a disabled woman, or even a man sticking his head in the door and asking his wife/mother/sister/daughter if she was OK. Nor would I complain about a unisex restroom, if they even offered as much privacy as a department-store fitting room.

But this guy was a voyeur, plain and simple. And we need to speak up about it now, or the very notion of privacy goes right out the window.
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Old 03-31-2017, 09:03 PM   #11
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In Taiwan in a lot of public places like the train stations the women have to walk past the men at the urinals to get to the stalls. The stalls are floor to ceiling and totally private.
In one place though there was only a flimsy curtain between the men and women. Add to that- squat toilets and it's a little scary.
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