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Old 02-27-2012, 07:09 PM   #1
CanadaSue
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Default Hoarder habit may be enabled by families

I would have thought this was pretty clear - that the behaviours of family members often enable hoarding. Okay, I'm being snotty. The purpose of the study is to charactorize enabling behaviours on the part of families so that they can be better integrated into the process of changing the hoarding behaviour.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/...ing-study.html


I expect as in families with other addictions, OCD, etc. behaviour - it's complex. As I've seen on the hoarding shows - it often turns out the partner is also a hoarder - sometimes to a lesser degree & THEIR hoarding is almost 'hidden' by the bigger problem evidenced by the principle hoarder. In some families, the hoarder is the easy 'target' when there's dysfunction. The visible hoard deflects from the lack of success at work/school on the part of other family members, addictions of others go unremarked...

I have trouble thinking 'straight' about hoarding. My childhood living in hoard - I've still got trouble with that. I was a shy kid to start with - very sensitive & having to go to school in my 'cleanest dirty clothes', probably smelling, never being able to have anyone over - sure didn't help with social development. Having to fight to keep my room free of hoard, (a losing battle), being BLAMED as a child by other relatives for not 'helping out' - these things leave emotional marks.

That being said, hoarding shows are like a train wreck - I can't stay away from them. I'm probably subconsciously looking for answers.
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Old 02-27-2012, 11:53 PM   #2
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Pair the hoarding shows with the TLC series "My 600 lb Life". Talk about some effed up enabling going on.

HOLD YOURSELVES ACCOUNTABLE, PEOPLE!!!

As someone who grew up with "clutter" and obese parents, it seems they are all connected. Sigh . . .
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Old 02-28-2012, 09:44 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadaSue View Post
I would have thought this was pretty clear - that the behaviours of family members often enable hoarding. Okay, I'm being snotty. The purpose of the study is to charactorize enabling behaviours on the part of families so that they can be better integrated into the process of changing the hoarding behaviour.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/story/...ing-study.html
Quote:
Symptoms of hoarding, which is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder, can be defined as:

Difficulty throwing things away.
Having a home cluttered with possessions.
Buying or acquiring items that do not have an immediate use.
If you are a prepper you are a hoarder!

Or a crafter/sewer/knitter/scrapbooker.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:02 PM   #4
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That's a pretty limited definition of buying/aquiring, Pot. Some of the hoarding specific web sites elaborate on that simple statement. It's loading up with obtanium that a hoarder may PERCIEVE has value, (antique, scarcity or my favourite: "I bought it on sale so got six!"), keeping stuff for control reasons: "That will be a great lamp once I fix it - if I put it to the curb, who knows what will happen to it?", it holds memories of events or people to the hoarder and usually as things get really bad - because they give up. They're too overwhelmed.

A prepper isn't seen as a haorder unless their prep stuff interferes with either their functioning or the functioning of the home. If you can't move, save for threading your way through narrow corridors between piles or prep stuff, if you've lost track of what you've got, can't use rooms properly - you've slid into the hoarding realm.
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Old 02-28-2012, 02:27 PM   #5
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That's a pretty limited definition of buying/aquiring, Pot. Some of the hoarding specific web sites elaborate on that simple statement. It's loading up with obtanium that a hoarder may PERCIEVE has value, (antique, scarcity or my favourite: "I bought it on sale so got six!"), keeping stuff for control reasons: "That will be a great lamp once I fix it - if I put it to the curb, who knows what will happen to it?", it holds memories of events or people to the hoarder and usually as things get really bad - because they give up. They're too overwhelmed.

A prepper isn't seen as a haorder unless their prep stuff interferes with either their functioning or the functioning of the home. If you can't move, save for threading your way through narrow corridors between piles or prep stuff, if you've lost track of what you've got, can't use rooms properly - you've slid into the hoarding realm.
I agree but I wasn't speaking my opinion but of others.

For example, is this a hoard? (Star Wars collectables?)


What about this? Let's say it is a year's worth of consumables, it is neatly shelved, in a pantry, rotated, etc?


People would say, "Other than the dust on the fan, what is the difference?"

Discuss.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:11 PM   #6
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Do hoarder actually collect useful stuff? All the pics and stories I have seen show piles of newspapers, trash and other stuff, mixed with filth, dead animals, feces and whatever. The former is perfectly functional, while the latter is perfectly dysfunctional. That seems like a clear and obvious distinction to me. I am missing something here?
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:18 PM   #7
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Okay - I'll have a go at that. As a collection, it's pretty... thorough & I think I see duplication. In & of itself, that's not a problem. If I was trying to assess the Stars Wars collection as either collection or hoard - I'd be asking the following things...

Is purchasing or aquiring the items taking money away from necessities such as food, rent, utilities & other bills MOST people would consider normal?

Is the space used to hold this collection prehaps more properly used in other ways? For example - did a child get punted out of a bedroom so the collection could be 'displayed' or stored?

Is engaging with the items; either buying, selling, trading, cataloguing, etc. time that SHOULD be spent doing more productive things? Yeah - have to be careful with that one & having a family modifies the impact of that question. A single female collector who chooses to engage with her Star Wars stuff in lieu of shopping, manicures, watching movies - in short this is her primary recreational activity... no problem. However, a person with a spousal unit and/or family who are being neglected; not getting the time/attention they should because the person prefers to engage with their collection of choice - hoard.

Does the person who owns this Star Wars stuff become oblivious to the normal demands of time while interacting with his stuff? I mean: lose track of time, forget to take care of personal hygiene, not go to work, not do normal cleaning/shopping/errands or chores.

Does the collection gradually consume this person - take up more time, energy, money... to the detriment of other things that again MOST of us would consider normal.

Have loved ones begun to be angry at a fixation they percieve Mr. or Miss Star Wars has with their collectibles? Is it the center of a lot of family strife due to the money or time being spent?

Just off the top of my head & to be fair, I don't think anyone who simply looks at a photo can easily make a judgement. As to the prep stuff - I have certainly seen preppers whom I think take it too far. Now if it's a personal hobby & the criteria above apply - no problem. I've spoken to 'preppers' who I think are a few #10 cans short of a full pallet though. They've stopped living. Instead - every spare dollar they have goes on prep stuff. Having normal life fun isn't in the script - if something isn't in some way prep oriented - it's a waste of time, energy or money. It's especially sad when it impacts the kdis negatively. You can rasie prep minded kids who are still very balanced individuals. You can raise some pretty intense stress puppies who have their first panic attack by age 7.

---------- Post added at 05:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:16 PM ----------

Ought, like many other human activite, hoarders have a range... I've got a chart somewhere. The hoarders who make the TV shows are extreme - to put it mildly. I know hoarders who would be horrified if their home had insects, feces & rotting food/garbage ying about.

But Gawd help you if you suggest they get rid of their 20 year old newspapers - they haven't read them yet - they can't throw them out! Might be something useful or interesting.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:42 PM   #8
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CS:

Just one point.... With serious collectors, duplication is perfectly normal. There are two main motives.

One is that, if there are only a few of any given item on the market, the more of them you own, the more valuable your collection becomes. It is cornering the market on a commodity; simple market economics. And of course, there are bragging rights; 'I have five of the eight Wookie warriors with the sword in the first version of the packaging know to exist in the world!' This is normal collector stuff, not hoarding.

The other is that duplicates make excellent trading material. Many sellers are themselves collectors selling duplicates. As a buyer, you may be able to persuade them to sell the item you want to you even though your bid is much lower, if you can offer to fill a hole in their collection by sweetening the deal with a duplicate of your own you will thrown in on top of the payment.
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Old 02-28-2012, 06:57 PM   #9
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Agreed Ought - one of the reasons I stated it's difficult to make blanket evaluations of collection versus hoard.

Hoarding it seems, is incredibly complex behaviour - lots of reasons, a big OCD component & with some people, clearly a serious addiction component as well. We don't know how many hoard, where or if clear lines etween collecting or clutter or hoarding can be drawn. The TV hoarding shows seem to show some common themes - hoarding often begins or is accelerated y one or more traumatic events i the hoarder's life. There's a lot of enaling - either actively or through fear of what will happen if the hoarder is thwarted. Hoarders can be very aggressive or passive/aggressive & they can rationalize like nobody's business. I've got a hoarding story to post after supper that shows some of the 'rationales' used.
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Old 02-28-2012, 07:00 PM   #10
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Certainly, some hoarders have OCD, and no doubt a few collectors. However, a person being obsessive about collecting and having OCD are two entirely different things. I do not believe there is any such thing as "an OCD component". You either have OCD, and it effects your personality, behavior and everything in your life, or you do not have it. There is no version of OCD I am aware that can only manifest in one narrow aspect of your life alone. That was my understanding of the syndrome, anyways. I could be wrong about that.
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