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Personal Security and Privacy Technology brings us tools to greatly improve our security, in the home, on the road, walking around and online. But the government has these tools and much more. As we move towards a total surveillance society, where our every move is watched, measured and recorded, and every scrap of data about us is collected and used to profile us by corporations and governments, privacy has become a critical issue.

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Old 10-29-2016, 07:00 PM   #1
SarahS
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Default online scams

So, I have a dipsy friend at work who has befriended a South African male aged 31 (she is 61); she is planning to go there to see him and will not listen to any reason why she should not go; she has already sent him $4000 for "school" which he did not do. She will not listen to reason; any thoughts on how I can stop her, or should I just let this play out?
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Old 10-29-2016, 08:01 PM   #2
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Let it play out.

She doesn't want to listen. She's deluded herself into believing a man half her age, half a world away is *in love* with her.

Anyone playing on the emotions of another is scum.

But anyone who wants to fall for such a blatant and obvious scam is also a fool.

There was a time that mainly old men fell for these scams, believing a woman young enough to her their granddaughter was passionately in love with them.

Viagra, botox, plastic surgery and too many so-called reality tv shows have every lonely person believing they're the *one* who won't be a victim.......

Watched a widow go through a similar thing play out a few years ago.

Difference being she was convinced a former flame from her youth was still in love with her, and wanted to rekindle the fires.

But could she buy him a bike, first? Oh, could she help him out with cash, because his ex had taken all his money and he was about to kicked out of him *pay by the week* flop house motel.

She figured that out after losing only a few grand.

Next guy convinced her he was the best friend of her deceased husband (no one had ever heard of him nor seem him with the deceased), was a 'mutil-millionaire', (also semi homeless), claimed to have been a flight line doctor (when I asked if she knew what that was, she said he'd told her that a 'flight line doctor was a jet pilot who was also a doctor ).... claimed he was jewelry designer, barber and several other equally improbable things.... Drove a rusted out 20+ year old mini van (which she gave him money for gas, tires, repairs, etc) .......... He was straight up scary in person, wasn't keen on bathing or anything and was beyond vulgar.

Then she became convinced that several guys in their 20's were hot for her that she met on some online dating site --- Lots of Fish, or something like that.

Suggestions from several people that she might want to slow down and maybe try dating local guys near her age (70+) but no.......... She had convinced herself that she was *too young* to waste her time on guys her age ..........

Last guy she was involved with was closer to her age, also a self proclaimed millionaire ......... Eccentric, I presume, as he too, drove an old, beater van. And was not exactly into bathing or clean clothes..... Rude, too. Had dinner out with them and he berated the waiter, groused about his food, but was otherwise disinclined to even make eye contact with us, let alone even offer a minimal reply when my husband tried to strike up a chat with him.


Man or woman, when they convince themselves that they're 'in love', no matter how absurd, how obvious that they're being played; they'll continue to believe their delusion............

And when they finally wake up, usually with their bank account seriously lighter or emptied out, they'll expect their friends to rally round them and listen to them cry their tales of woe.
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Old 10-29-2016, 08:27 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SarahS View Post
So, I have a dipsy friend at work who has befriended a South African male aged 31 (she is 61); she is planning to go there to see him and will not listen to any reason why she should not go; she has already sent him $4000 for "school" which he did not do. She will not listen to reason; any thoughts on how I can stop her, or should I just let this play out?
I had a friend who insisted that his route to economic security was to look for and go through with these types of adventures. He thought they were legitimate enterprises.

He sent money to some South Africans and to some Nigerians, and had planned to travel there..,

I had to create a "false identity" for myself and e-mail him links, over and over, and over again before he got the point.

these types of things are so dangerous. You are frequently asked to send money in advance, and then to bring money and your expensive belongings like jewelry and go visit them to conclude some type of venture or other.

There are many stories of people doing this and ending up robbed and held for ransom or dead.

I would keep hammering at your friend to convince her not to do this, and refer her to the sordid stories you should be able to find on the web..,
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Old 10-30-2016, 12:56 AM   #4
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Can you convince her to fly him here instead of her going there or even them meeting in a neutral country and having a grand holiday in the UK? Maybe go the route of the political climate in South Africa instead of saying that he is being dishonest.
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Old 10-30-2016, 01:07 AM   #5
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omg I could tell you some stories about my 54 year old dipsy sister-in-law. For the last couple years, she's been in so many Facebook romances with young men around the world (and sent them money) that we've lost track. And now we've lost track of her. Last we heard, she was in Tunisia, with a 20-something.

---------- Post added at 10:07 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:02 PM ----------

I guess young men preying on older women seems to be pretty common. They profess undying love until they have the money in hand.
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Old 10-30-2016, 06:05 AM   #6
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I have talked to her until I just can't any more. She is determined and is already maxing out her credit cards. I can only hope, at this point, that she doesn't get kidnapped and expect us to bail her out, 'cause I won't. However, I am very very afraid for her!
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Old 10-30-2016, 06:12 AM   #7
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Quote:
I have talked to her until I just can't any more. She is determined and is already maxing out her credit cards. I can only hope, at this point, that she doesn't get kidnapped and expect us to bail her out, 'cause I won't. However, I am very very afraid for her!
Wow!

Do you know any more women like that .

I can pretend to be younger if they will send me money .


Seriously - would your local police take an interest ?

If he has told any lies to her in correspondence thus far ,
it could be argued he has obtained money by false pretenses
( probably also a crime in SA ) .

Clearly the potential exists for crime ( if it has not occurred already )
so perhaps local law enforcement would contact SA police and ask
them to ''chat'' to this individual . At least he would then know people
are watching his current and future behavior .

..
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Old 10-30-2016, 08:30 AM   #8
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Sarah, other than talking yourself blue in the face trying to talk some sense into her, I don't think there's much else you can do.

In the case of our family member, we were mulling over getting some social services agency involved because of sister-in-laws mental state. She is not self reliant and not completely in touch with reality. But she's also probably still out of the country and out of touch, with us anyway. Hopefully, she's in touch with her daughters. I looked up all the social service agencies in their area and got the links to them so they can deal with this if/when she shows back up.
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Old 10-30-2016, 10:30 AM   #9
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http://www.gvnet.com/humantrafficking/SouthAfrica.htm

http://censorbugbear-reports.blogspo...ery-trade.html
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Old 10-30-2016, 12:07 PM   #10
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Does she have any family you can alert?
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Old 10-30-2016, 09:47 PM   #11
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Ross, you're probably right but I'm not sure the police will care. Thanks BG, I'm well aware of the dangers; like I say, blue in the face from trying to tell her. Mousie, my husband's idea is to contact her pastor; I may be able to do that. She doesn't leave until the 9th so maybe I still have some time.
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Old 11-03-2016, 07:15 PM   #12
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Look up Dr. Phil's show from earlier this week. They covered this same thing, the woman on there had sent the guy a total of $76,000.
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Old 11-03-2016, 09:51 PM   #13
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Look up Dr. Phil's show from earlier this week. They covered this same thing, the woman on there had sent the guy a total of $76,000.
How ironic. A fraudster hosting guests who tell stories of being defrauded.
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